A better plan.

Well here I am, a high school graduate. When people hear that they immediately begin peppering you with "what are you going to do?","Have you decided what your doing for college?". As these types of questions continue to pour in I can almost feel the dark cloud of indecision settling over my head, hanging there ominously reminding me that in a few months I must of made decisions that will very likely decide the course of my life. 

       I am very much that person who always has a plan. It may not be the most thought out or perfect plan, but never the less I cling to the fact that if I mess up I have that backup. I hate huge decisions and I also hate unchangeable things. Things that once done or chosen can never be taken back. As I stand on the brink of this entirely new chapter of my life I feel fear building up inside of me. Fear for what I cannot predict and that I will come to hate the choices I am now making. 

      And what about my ever ready plan, my decisions? I thought I had everything so carefully planned out only to have them all come tumbling down around my ears. My inability to predict what will happen next fills me with fear for my future. How am I to know how to choose my career? Where to go to college? Yes it is a decision that every high school graduate must make. Where to go to college, Whether to go to college, What to major in, whether to add the complications of another's heart to the mix. All of the choices go on. So where am I in all of this? I have no plan, no set out idea of what I'm doing. At this very moment I couldn't tell you what exactly I will be doing in two short months. I am without a plan. I could tell you that I might be here, and I might be doing that, but that could very well change the next day. Does it scare me? Of course it does! 

     You see I' m the kind of person that tortures themselves with all of the negative and frightening "what ifs" of tomorrow if I do not have a plan to follow, an idea of what tomorrow holds. I worry myself until the cloud of depression and doubt hanging over my head has grown into something large enough to generate a small hurricane. If you ask my friends whether I worry about everything they will tell you "yes" with an emphatic nod of their heads. Yes I do worry, every single day, but I have to remember Philipians 4:6-7 which reads " Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known until God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ" He always has a better plan then any one of us could dream of.  I have to remember that when all of mine are crashing down there is another made for me, I just have to listen for it.

I'm home.

Well im home..my canvassing summer is completed-all 10 weeks of it. I miss the team a lot, you really do become a family. I made my summer goal in money so i'm thankful for that, but i'm also very thankful for the books we were all able to get out..and the lives we changed through God. Retreat was amazing..it felt so good to finally really relax after a long 10 weeks. I spent as much time as i could at the lake, and got a major sunburn because of it. by the end of the first day of retreat i already looked like a tomatoe and stayed that way for a couple of days. I made friends from other conferences also, and i hope to see them again next year. :)
  I've been home since Wen. evening. I've had to do some readjusting, but even though its not exactly the most interesting at home, it's nice to see my family again. One of my sisters and her husband came down this weekend also so i've been spending a lot of time with family since i've been home.
  School starts in a week or so also..so i'll be busy soon. And that's just a short update on my life.

Canvassing summer.

Well it’s almost two weeks into my canvassing summer.

Currently there are 6 students-Bridgette-25-she’s also the bible worker for the program, Anthony-16, Benjamin-15,Neiko-14 and four more girls coming Sunday. Crystal James and Eric Heredia are the leaders in the program.

Girls have the house next door to the church and guys stay in the sabbath school rooms in the church. I have kitchen duty, breakfast is provided by the program so I make breakfast every morning along with Neiko who helps. We make lunch type foods for breakfast because it’s a more filling meal since we just have sandwiches for lunch.

For the first three days of the program we trained for canvassing, I had to relearn a new canvass for this program which was somewhat tough. It’s made me a better canvasser though so it’s all good. We started actually canvassing the 27th.

  I’ve drilled my canvass into my head so much that the other night during our bible study i fell asleep in the church pew and started giving a canvass in my sleep, or so they said. Some of us get up at 5:30am and go play basketball at the local gym for an hour in the morning before our day starts. Friday is our free day and we’re going swimming and then playing basketball today.

  That’s about all of the basics of what’s going on in my life. Life is definitely a lot more complicated and sometimes frustrating but we have a lot of fun on our off time and even though it’s physically tiring and even mentally, canvassing is a blessing knowing your getting books into peoples homes that could be their only chance to hear the message.

There are 7 weeks left in the program, in three weeks we move to Murfreesboro. At the end of the program there is a retreat where all of the Youth Summit programs come together, my summer is going well. Im tired like all of the time and sometimes things don’t go the greatest...but hey thats life. Gotta focus on the good things in life. ;)

I would post pictures but my camera gave up the ghost a couple of days into the program, im waiting on the camera my moms sending. i’ll post pics the next time Im able to get internet connection. :)

later people.

Annd im off ;)

Well..it's here. Imma be off like a herd of turtles in a couple of hours :P lol. I'll try n keep my blog updated whenever i'm able to connect to the internet, whenever that will be. I'll be back beginning of August. ;) alright peoplezz. love you guys :] call me sometime! 423.223-6171. And have an awesome summerrrrr =]

*Boring?

To do today-

*Pack
*Clean
*Errands in town
*Physical :-O no no no. yess..I need to get that stuff out of my way so i don't have to deal with it when i get home from canvassing. :/
*Work out at the property

And that's all that I can think of..pretty boring day.I have three days until i leave for the summerrrr. I'm excited, my friend Sarah is going to be there. two weeks late, and only there for three weeks..buuut she's still gonna be there. yay Sarah :D haha.
Sunday is gonna be crazy busy. The floors will be finished by Sunday so i can get my stuff in my room and unpacked sunday morning, and then I have to be in Murfreesboro by 4pm Sunday afternoon. It's about a 2 1/2-3 hour drive there. Ick. I have to get my pretty room all organized..and then leave. saddening. But i'mma be too busy to be sad :P lolz.
I think i have a low blood sugar high. After like i think 8am i can't eat until after my physical. And i skipped breakfast. So i've had no food today. Except for one bite so when mom asked if i'd eaten anything, i could say yes. ;)
 Anyway imma finish up this really boring post. Have a good day everyone :)

*Today

*I overslept thanks to my alarm clock not going off, woke up to everyone getting ready to leave for the property and opted to stay and tackle my packing instead of going with.

*So I accomplished packing everything packable in my room,Including a lot of stuff for my summer. I sorted through things and got rid of a lot of things i don't use or wear anymore. I got home last night and switch on my light only to see it spark and die. I wasn't happy, now i have to use one little nightstand light. I will be so glad to come home at the end of the summer to a nice house.

*Went white water rafting yesterday with a group from some of my friends church. Had a blast ;). We were all soaked and freezing by the end but it was definitely worth it. I came so close to going over the side, instead I almost cracked Jordan's knee with the helmet on my head. Ouch. sorry Jordan :P

That's about all that i can think of to jabber about currently. stay tuned for more boring posts. ;)

Wide awake

..So it's 1:30am in the morning. I should be asleep, but my brain refuses to shut down and let me sleep. Instead im sitting here with my brain going a mile a minute thinking about all of the stuff I have to get done this coming week, and then in the two weeks I have before school starts when I get home in August.
  The house is so close to being finished. To have it finished enough to move in the flooring has to be sanded and varnished, appliances and bathroom vanities installed and doors hung.
  Thats basically just a brief update on the house..im going to try and get some sleep now.