One of those summer nights..

It's one of those summer nights where the stars are out, the crickets are chirping and you can hear the bull frogs from the neighbors pond. It's warm, but theres a light breeze so it feels perfect outside. Someone just cut grass and its fresh scent is still lingering on the wind and there are bales of hay in the field outside my window. It would be the perfect night to lay outside under the stars whispering about whats coming next in life, but its hard to do with hundreds of miles between people.

     I'm not even sure I would want to whisper about whats next. What if I've made the wrong choice? What if I regret it with everything in me? Someone told me they wished we still had those breast plates from the bible with multi colored stones that lit up, you know, gave you the answer straight from God. I sure wouldn't mind having that right about now. But then again, all of these doubts are probably because I have way too much time on my hands to think. 

   To make extra money I put in some hours at another local farm and she usually has me weed so I spend a lot of time in silence. Well you know when theres that one song that you can't get out of your head, but you can only remember a line or two? Doesn't it drive you crazy when it repeats itself over and over and over again in your mind? That happens to me every time I work for them. Sometimes Its not even songs I really like, just the last song I heard on the radio driving over. Your probably wondering why I'm rambling on about this, but I promise I do have a point that i'm trying to make with it. You see the way a song gets stuck in your head, thats exactly how it is with college for me. I know 95% of 2012 high school graduates are burning their brains out this summer doing the same, but strangely I feel all alone, like it's me against the world and that I have to have it all planned out. Now.

I know, insane. I mean I don't need to have my entire life planned out now right? I just wish I could plan it and know for sure it's whats best for me, that i'm not making a stupid decision. Life is full of those though isn't it, stupid decisions? I wish I could just avoid them, but of course everyone must wish that. When I was little I admired all the "grown ups" and tried so hard to rush growing up, now that i'm on the brink of it, its far more daunting then it ever seemed. There are so many opportunities to mess up! Life is full of choices though. Good choices which enable you to go farther in life, and bad choices that you learn and grow from if you so choose. It's all up to us I guess, how our lives play out. We all have to learn to put our lives in Gods hands though, If we expected to make all the right choices on our own we would be wondering what went wrong all of our lives.